LIST OF GOALS for 2010

I found a list of goals for 2010 yesterday that I made late in 2009. Yes, I was already thinking about insuring that this year would (just had to be!) better than the last few.

The idea for the list came about after reading a Guide to Setting Goals for 2010 and thinking...how the heck can someone tell ME what my personal goals should be? With a rather defiant attitude I found a notepad and started to scribble out a few goals, some easily attainable if I tried at all and others that were going to be a challenge.

For those who are interested, here's what I wrote.

• Organize at least one closet -- This might seem too easy to some but you haven't seen my closets, right?
  
• Lose 5 pounds with healthy exercise not by dieting
  
• Check into going back to college and getting a degree in something that will be focused on green parenting like maybe becoming a family counselor or a lactation consultant
  
• Read and Re-read the classics so my babies will be duly impressed when they have to read them in school and mommy knows all about them
  
• Get a few chickens
  
• Visit my elderly family members who are in the nursing home. I figure if I want my kids to visit me, I should set an example.
  

Is it lame that I only had time to write a list that fell short of 10 goals? I took a look at a list of goals for 2010 that I found on the net that had more than 30 one of which was to star in a movie! Frankly, this made me feel like cracking the paper on a chocolate bar and throwing up my hands in shame and dismay until I realized that more than half of my list of goals was geared toward doing something for the planet and for family rather than myself. It made me feel much better until I realized that we are now five months into 2010 and I haven't attained one single goal! So, my goal for today is to get started checking the first item on my list of goals for 2010...wish me luck!

Am I a Helicopter Mom

My goal for yesterday was to decide if I am a helicopter mom. I was forced to take a look at myself to see if all of the health problems and chronic illnesses in my household had caused me to cross the line from caring, attachment parenting into helicopter parenting? Am I guilty of hovering about throwing myself between my kids and the cruel world and therefore leaving them victims to stunted development?

I’m a pretty busy lady and it has taken a little longer for the latest buzz phrase to catch my attention. However, my sister (remember the one who lets her kids run wild?) pointedly brought up the term "helicopter parenting" that she heard on a CBS documentary that aired awhile back to me over the weekend. I believe that she is pointing the finger at me for being a "hyper-parent" who coddles her kids.

WHAT IS A HELICOPTER MOM

Other than the obvious assumption that the definition of a helicopter mommy is one that hovers, after doing a little research I have ascertained that this would be a neurotically overprotective mother but who is fearful of upsetting her children and overcompensates (read: spoils) in various areas of their lives.

Am I little guilty of hovering over my kids? I wish I could square my shoulders and say that I would never do such a thing. But the truth is that I’m just a tat guilty. I’m not guilty of spoiling them or trying to predict and fill their every desire but because of our circumstances I may be a little overcautious but please allow me to plead my case.

Forgive me if I cringe whenever we are at the playground (or any other uncontrolled environment) and your child who doesn’t know my baby has a life threatening peanut allergy offers my daughter a bite. And please be understanding when you call to invite my kids over for a play date if I ask if you have cats, dogs or birds because my baby has asthma.

Under normal circumstances, I would like to think that I’m not a helicopter mom. I don’t spoil my children with toys and clothes and do my best parent them without clinging or overprotecting. But when it comes to my babies’ safety, you had better just get out of the way because this aircraft has a flight plan that will rock your world and for this mission I refuse to apologize.

DO YOU THINK THERE IS TOO MUCH VIOLENCE ON TV

I just got off the phone with a mom who asked me, "Do you think there is too much violence on TV?" Would you like to know what my knee jerk reaction to this question was? Well, since you asked so nicely I will tell you that I almost replied that there was nothing BUT violence on television.

The only reason that I bit my tongue and tempered my remarks was that I realized that I would be wrong because there is some excellent kids' programming available. Sure, some of it is terrible and sets a very poor example for children. And the fact that "Reading Rainbows" has been cancelled hacked me off to no end. But there are a few shows that I let the kids watch.

It's when I go searching for something for my husband and me to watch after the kids go to bed that I can give a definite affirmative answer to the question "Do you think there is too much violence on TV?" Because where adult programming is concerned you have a choice of goofy sitcoms, crime shows, talk shows or reality (oh please) television. Oh yes, and my husband's favorite, sports which I place in the "violent" category much to his dismay.

I have come to the conclusion that if you want to watch something uplifting to clear your head before bedtime, you are just out of luck! Murder, mangled bodies and mayhem do not a bedtime story make.

Every mom I talk to has the same complaint so why is this stuff still being crammed down our throats? I want to know what demographic likes to go to bed with visions of corpses dancing in their heads?

Return to Family Recipes, Babies and Parenting Issues to see what kind of answers I get to the question.

HOW TO TIE A TIE THE QUICK AND EASY WAY

With my family consisting largely of females one might wonder why I’d need to know how to tie a tie. Over the past few years I have devoted a world of time to learning how to make baby girls’ hair bows and embellishing hair bands and barrettes with doodads and decorations. However, learning how to tie a necktie knot fell further on my to do list with every baby girl that popped out of the oven, so to speak but as we know life can throw you a curve when you least expect it and, no pun intended, tie you in knots.

At one of the birthday celebrations that my devoted husband attended with two of our daughters yesterday he volunteered to catch the littlest kids and be sure they had good footing in the blow up pool at the bottom of the big blue monster slide. To make a long story short, one of the kids flew down that slide like a rocket and dear husband jammed two of his fingers trying to catch the child. The hostess fetched a bag of ice and iced the swollen fingers immediately but hubby arrived home with throbbing digits that resembled stuffed sausages. Among all the other things I had to take care of due to his debilitated hand, I was informed if he was going to go to church with the family this morning, I had to learn how to tie a tie because there was no way that he could do it himself and as he is an usher, my husband always wears a suit and tie to Sunday services.

Thinking he was just trying to play hooky from church I stayed up after everyone else had gone to bed thinking that I would head him off at the pass and surprise him with my amazing ability to tie his tie in a perfect knot. Imagine my surprise to find that there are more than a few knots that are used for this purpose and I didn’t have a clue which one I needed to learn. What was the difference in a half-Windsor and a plain Windsor? Or did he use the Shelby also known as the Pratt? What I needed was to find the easiest way possible to get us (hopefully) through one tying so I did a search for the EASIEST way to tie a tie and found that I was not the only person that need help in learning how to tie a tie as there are not only colored pictures and diagrams with instructions but (God bless them) videos teaching us the fine art of tying a gentleman’s necktie in many, many ways. For simplicity’s sake I decided on the half-Windsor knot because the steps seemed to me to be the easiest.

About an hour ago, I laid out hubby’s shirt and tie like I always do and when he came out of the shower, he paused when he saw the familiar scene wondering how this was going to work. Before he could ask any questions, I said, "When you’re ready for your tie, I’ll take care of it for you". He hasn’t gotten around to asking me how or when I learned how to tie a tie so for now it’s our little secret and just one of those things you do for family.

Return to Oooh Baby Parenting, Family and Environmental Issues to see if he ever asks me whose tie I tied before his because I know that it will bug him until he asks.

QUALITY FAMILY TIME

I'm having trouble figuring out how to squeeze in quality family time this holiday weekend. I was not aware that September was a big baby delivery month but if the number of birthday parties that my kids were in invited to attend today alone, there must have been a premature ice storm or something four or five years ago if you catch my drift.

With such a busy schedule and dear daddy taking half the kids in one direction with mommy (yours truly) heading in the other with the remainder of our little crew in tow I had to ponder if trying to attend every get together was the best plan. The girls were so tired that they took a short, unsatisfying nap in the car on the way home and are now half-heartedly splashing in the bath while I'm heating spaghetti sauce and boiling noodles for supper.

Tomorrow we are going to have some quality family time, together, as a unit barring some unseen disaster. My goal is to pull the plug on the television and the football games (sorry, Honey) and to turn on the telephone. Mom, dad and the kids are going to play and laugh and spend some time making memories.

Return to Oooh Baby Baby Parenting, Family and Environmental Issues to see if I make good on my promise.

OPINIONS ON HOUSEHOLD NECESSITIES POLL

I saw a story about how American families’ opinions of what they considered to be basic household necessities had change significantly since the year 2006. The report seemed to focus on appliances and a few h not so necessary household items atellite television and microwaves, not the bare essentials.

Some of the report’s findings were encouraging to me as they indicated a rise in green living practices. As an example, 16% (or somewhere close to that number) of the people polled said they didn’t’ consider clothes dryers to a necessity. This number is considerably higher than the number reported in 2006.

The most disturbing and probably misleading number was associated with dishwashers. The number of people who consider dishwashers to be unimportant rose significantly. People, the reason dishwashers have fallen off of the list of household necessities is not because of a rise in green living practices and above all it does not indicate that family members have suddenly taken a shine to washing and drying dishes the old fashioned way.

What this finding may indicate is the amount of junk and fast food that families are eating. If you shop for meals at the local drive-through restaurant, there’s no need to wash the dishes or the environmentally unfriendly Styrofoam containers. I admit to feeling a tingle of excitement over the number of moms hanging their organic cotton baby diapers on an outdoor clothesline, but the thought of losing the happy chuckle of the dishwasher filled with dirty dishes after a home cooked family dinner is disturbing.

Return to Oooh Baby Family, Parenting and Environmental Issues to see more opinionated rants and raves from Claire.

GIRLS SOFTBALL ENVY

None of my girls are old enough to play with real, hard baseballs or softballs let alone tooth cracking aluminum bats. However, there are enough children in my neighborhood that are enjoying softball season at the moment that my kids are noticing. The little girl next door got a new pair of cleats and my oldest girl completely feminine love with the shoes with the "bumps" on the bottom.

After an inpromptu playtime in the side yard, she came in asking what the "bumps" on the bottom of the cleats were for. I explained (as best I could) that the plastic bumps made the little girl be able to run faster and not to fall down as much when playing ball. This explanation was all it took to make the case for buying a set of cleats for everyone in our family. After all, what's not to love about being able to run at record speeds and not to trip and fall while you are in the process?

I could see that even more explanation was going to be necessary and I followed up my previous remarks with the fact that cleats were for girls who actually were involved in softball. After the information that cleats are for girls who are playing sports and as little girls didn't play ball, they didn't come in little girl sizes.

The disappointment in her eyes was sad enough but the pitiful sight of her watching through the glass in the door while the neighborhood kids piled in the cars to go to their ballgames was especially painful to watch. It just so happened that I was having a conversation over the back fence with our ball playing neighbor girl's mom about this sad scenario when a brainstorm struck.

Practically in mid sentence a lightbulb lit up over her head and into the house she ran. I went back to pinning my rugs on the line and in a moment she returned carrying not only a pair of tiny, worn looking cleats, but a pair of those baggy knee length nylon shorts that girls wear to play ball.

I cleaned the red clay off the baseball shoes up as best I could and had them and her shorts waiting when she came back from the pool with her dad. You would have thought that I had given her a new car! The shoes are too big as are the shorts which are pulled up under her armpits at this very minute, but this is one happy little girl!

LOOK MA NO WILDFIRES - THANK HEAVEN FOR HIGH HUMIDITY

We are down south right now and look to be here for awhile. For once we are southerners at the right time of year! I have mentioned to my mom that it would be nice if she came down and spent some time and we'd make it a point to do some sightseeing and travelling (that SHE loves to do) while she's here.

She got down right snarky about it and said no thank you, I doubt there's anything that I'd care to see down there. DOWN THERE???? Where does she think I am? In another country or in Hell? I have told her time and time again just how lovely the countryside and the people are here and she's completely ignored me. You know what she said this time along with other negative remarks? "It's so damp and HUMID down there" Again she's with the "down there" thing.

Well, I talked to my poor cousin in California today and she sent me pics of the wildfires raging within sight of her bedroom window! She said she would ADORE to come here but didn't feel she should leave her home. I told her she was welcome whenever she could come and told her the reason mom wasn't interested in taking me up on my invitation for the winter. She laughed and said that the entire state of California and many others would be thankful for more good old fashioned humidity. In her book, humidity is preferable to out of control fires any day of the week.

My feelings are hurt that mother uses humidity, which is only an issue in summer anyway, to not come. I plan to clear my mind by going to some of the charming towns that I've heard about while I'm in the area. I've been to Oxford many times, but may make another trip. You would be amazed at the movie stars, writers and famous musicians that are on that square at any given time. I've stood side by side with John Grisham at Square Books and chatted with the director/producer of some Cameron Diaz movie (Something About Mary?).

Hear that mom? Even famous people love it "down there".

TAPING KIDS MOUTHS SHUT. IS THAT OK?

Did anybody else hear a news story about an afterschool program that allegedly (don't I sound all legal?) taped a child's mouth shut as some form of discipline? Was this as a personal sanity saver or what?
If I heard correctly, it was judged that taping a child's mouth shut is not a crime and the case was kicked out of court or some such nonsense.
My thoughts on this are that while it might not have been a crime for the daycare worker to do the taping, the tailkicking I gave HER for doing such a cruel and heartless thing to my child probably would be prosecutable to the full extent of the law.
What do y'all think about this mess? What would YOU do if a person left in charge of your children taped one of their mouths shut?

I suppose this hits close to home because I'm the mother of lots of little jabber jaws and while I've been pretty close to snapping and sticking cotton in MY ears at times, I would never do something like that to my own child or anyone else's!

Come on, tell me what you think about this!