IS GREEN PARENTING OBSESSIVE PARENTING

Is green parenting obsessive parenting in disguise? I hardly think so but there must be a virus of hate going around, because I've gotten some really snarky comments on a few of my posts that I made awhile back that indicated that I was being over protective and was obsessed with my daughter's illnesses and allergies. WTH?

I've heard instances where parents were attacked and criticized about the choices they made regarding breastfeeding in public, vaccinations, green living practices and yeah...even recycling! One has to believe that education is the answer to such biased thinking and ignorance but yet here we are in 2010 and getting bashed for believing the data that proves beyond a doubt that global warming is real, reports that there are islands of garbage floating in the ocean that exceed the size of some states and that the effects of the major environmental disaster in the Gulf of Mexico will take decades to overcome.

How anyone can find the time to bash the gay community and harass parents over trying to make a better world for their kids is mind boggling since there are so many bigger issues to get huffy about. Maybe haters are looking for easy targets and the big corporations are out of reach?

For the record:

I have had to wrestle with whether or not to vaccinate my daughters because, autism aside, they have severe egg allergies..so shoot me.

My husband and I co-sleep with our babies. Yes, it's hard to know when and how to stop co-sleeping but I wouldn't trade those nights snuggled with my infants in my arms knowing that they were safe and well for anything.

I breastfed each of my girls as long as I possibly could but there were times when I supplemented with store bought formula when I had to. It hurt at the time, but a mom does what she has to do.

I believe that organic foods are better for all of us and don't like plastic coming in contact with my food but when push came to shove I have been known to pop a frozen dinner in the microwave.

I have used both cloth and disposable diapers. I prefer organic cotton cloth diapering but there have been times when it was just easier to use disposables and I succumbed to temptation.

Do my choices make it sound like I'm an obsessed parent? When is green parenting obsessive parenting? When there is no flexibility and you sacrifice the peace and functionality of the family for the sake of sticking to a cause at all costs. That ain't me.

LIST OF GOALS for 2010

I found a list of goals for 2010 yesterday that I made late in 2009. Yes, I was already thinking about insuring that this year would (just had to be!) better than the last few.

The idea for the list came about after reading a Guide to Setting Goals for 2010 and thinking...how the heck can someone tell ME what my personal goals should be? With a rather defiant attitude I found a notepad and started to scribble out a few goals, some easily attainable if I tried at all and others that were going to be a challenge.

For those who are interested, here's what I wrote.

• Organize at least one closet -- This might seem too easy to some but you haven't seen my closets, right?
  
• Lose 5 pounds with healthy exercise not by dieting
  
• Check into going back to college and getting a degree in something that will be focused on green parenting like maybe becoming a family counselor or a lactation consultant
  
• Read and Re-read the classics so my babies will be duly impressed when they have to read them in school and mommy knows all about them
  
• Get a few chickens
  
• Visit my elderly family members who are in the nursing home. I figure if I want my kids to visit me, I should set an example.
  

Is it lame that I only had time to write a list that fell short of 10 goals? I took a look at a list of goals for 2010 that I found on the net that had more than 30 one of which was to star in a movie! Frankly, this made me feel like cracking the paper on a chocolate bar and throwing up my hands in shame and dismay until I realized that more than half of my list of goals was geared toward doing something for the planet and for family rather than myself. It made me feel much better until I realized that we are now five months into 2010 and I haven't attained one single goal! So, my goal for today is to get started checking the first item on my list of goals for 2010...wish me luck!

Am I a Helicopter Mom

My goal for yesterday was to decide if I am a helicopter mom. I was forced to take a look at myself to see if all of the health problems and chronic illnesses in my household had caused me to cross the line from caring, attachment parenting into helicopter parenting? Am I guilty of hovering about throwing myself between my kids and the cruel world and therefore leaving them victims to stunted development?

I’m a pretty busy lady and it has taken a little longer for the latest buzz phrase to catch my attention. However, my sister (remember the one who lets her kids run wild?) pointedly brought up the term "helicopter parenting" that she heard on a CBS documentary that aired awhile back to me over the weekend. I believe that she is pointing the finger at me for being a "hyper-parent" who coddles her kids.

WHAT IS A HELICOPTER MOM

Other than the obvious assumption that the definition of a helicopter mommy is one that hovers, after doing a little research I have ascertained that this would be a neurotically overprotective mother but who is fearful of upsetting her children and overcompensates (read: spoils) in various areas of their lives.

Am I little guilty of hovering over my kids? I wish I could square my shoulders and say that I would never do such a thing. But the truth is that I’m just a tat guilty. I’m not guilty of spoiling them or trying to predict and fill their every desire but because of our circumstances I may be a little overcautious but please allow me to plead my case.

Forgive me if I cringe whenever we are at the playground (or any other uncontrolled environment) and your child who doesn’t know my baby has a life threatening peanut allergy offers my daughter a bite. And please be understanding when you call to invite my kids over for a play date if I ask if you have cats, dogs or birds because my baby has asthma.

Under normal circumstances, I would like to think that I’m not a helicopter mom. I don’t spoil my children with toys and clothes and do my best parent them without clinging or overprotecting. But when it comes to my babies’ safety, you had better just get out of the way because this aircraft has a flight plan that will rock your world and for this mission I refuse to apologize.

HOW TO STOP CO-SLEEPING

I’m opening the floor for discussion on how to stop co-sleeping with my baby AND my older children. I’ve enjoyed a nice long run where my little ones slept within arms’ reach but as the size of my brood increases and the duration of hubby’s illness drags on, let’s say that co-sleeping with children and one infant is not that pleasurable or restful and I need help.

When this ball got rolling we never marked a date on the calendar setting a date for what age to stop co-sleeping. Frankly, I couldn’t think much past the desperate need for getting some sleep. Today, long after the ship has sailed I start to study up on how to stop co-sleeping and find that I should have conferred with my pediatrician about making a plan regarding my baby’s sleeping location. Oh, whatever..like my kids care what their doctor says.

After making light of involving a doctor in deciding when to stop co-sleeping, I do agree that I need a plan now that I can see that weaning time is drawing nigh. And after being sucker punched in the nose last night, I’m motivated but not sure how to stop co-sleeping without leaving my little ones feeling unwanted, unloved or abandoned. After checking into borrowing a portable crib for the little one, cost is no longer an issue. But do I need to move cots for the older children into the bedroom to ease the transition?

I was thinking something along the lines of gently moving the older children into the toddler beds after they go to sleep in our big bed and easing the baby into the travel crib. My husband called my idea “How to Stop Co-Sleeping for Sissies”. My response was that I prefer a gentle approach to parenting confident, independent children one baby step at a time.

Another reason that I’m working to make the transition as pain free and gradual as possible is because the idea of having to spend hours at a time rubbing little backs in the middle of the night because they woke up in a disoriented state is not appealing to me. Plus, I need some time to adjust to not being able to reach out and touch my girls to reassure myself that all is well during the night. Prolonged chronic illnesses and almost losing one can do that to a mom.

So, perhaps I should be asking for ideas on how to stop co-sleeping that are easy on both mother and child or any other parenting advice that you’d like to share I’m open to suggestions.

Dangers of Baby Slings

I am announcing my intentions to ignore the dangers of baby slings that I have seen mentioned in various consumer reports recently. Being a cautious person by nature, I take each and every study that comes out very seriously and have the utmost respect for the integrity of said reports and the professionals who oversee and conduct them. However, this time I’m taking a few grains of salt with the results of the baby sling report.

For those who are considering this valuable attachment parenting device, the study states that in a time frame of the past five years there have been at least four babies who died from being carried in baby slings. And there are even more reported incidences of injuries to babies’ heads, skull fractures and bruises and contusions.

Most of the problems occurred when the babies tumbled out of the sling. To that, I have to reply that I have carried three (soon to be four) newborns in ring slings and have not had one fall out of the carrier yet! I do not jog, cook or do aerobics while carrying an infant in a sling. The moments are rare when my arms have not been wrapped around my babies when they are inside the sling carrier or wrap. It is my opinion that perhaps the dangers of baby slings have more to do with learning the lack of skill and common sense of the user than the danger of using a sling.

The study goes on to say that there are no safety standards for baby slings and I agree that since many moms believe it's alright to make your own baby sling using free patterns that they find on the internet that there is room for error. But again, in my opinion, that fact alone doesn’t make them dangerous.

The truth is that any squirming baby can wiggle out of your arms if you are not careful. I’m not telling anybody to take risks when parenting their babies. But, a little common sense goes a long way when assessing the dangers of baby slings.

By all means pick a safe baby carrier with a good track record and before you put your baby in any stroller, carrier or swing; learn how to use the thing. The same dangers of baby slings apply to any kind of baby gear, gadget or seat. Practice with a baby doll, read the owner’s manual and learn how to use the belts, straps and restraints before using the product with a real infant. And perhaps the best advice I can give to new mothers is to never allow yourself to become distracted by anything when caring for your baby. Make a solemn vow to not let anything short of a nuclear explosion pull your attention away because in my experience, the little sweethearts know the exact moment that you are not watching and will take that opportunity to injure themselves or their siblings. And nothing is worth sacrificing the safety of your precious child.

Return to Oooh Baby Baby Parenting and Environmental Issues to see more of my opinions on expert studies.

NANNY CAMS are NOT LIFE SAVERS! WAKE UP!

The talk at the moms coffee group this morning was a show that some of the ladies had seen about nanny cams. Nanny cams are not your typical digital wireless video baby monitors or audio baby monitors that may have been broadcasting your next door neighbor's personal conversations into your home via your cordless phone.

These hidden cameras are spy ware, equipment for moms and dads who leave baby at home with nannies that they apparently don't trust. Why else would these people be spying on the hired help? My thoughts are that these parents are leaving their tiny babies with people they barely know and to make themselves feel better about it, they go out and buy electronics so they can spy on them and have them arrested if need be AFTER the evening is over.

I've seen the shows on television where baby monitors or the stuffed animal with camera lenses for eyeballs picked up appalling film footage of the babysitter beating the tar out of newborns and toddlers that couldn't defend themselves, but what good is it to catch them after baby's brain is damaged from shaken baby syndrome?

I don't believe that the most high tech spy equipment could ever take the place of parenting. There is no event, evening out or party that would make me leave my children with a person that I felt the slightest need to spy on. The sitters that I use probably need me to nanny cam the kids for possible babysitter abuse rather than the other way around! I wonder if it ever strikes some parents that they may need to stay their butts at home rather than entrust people who might abuse their babies with their care?

I'm not slamming all sitters or nannies by any means as the case of poor Lattie McGee proves that some parents should be watched and not just babysitters. God knows that there is no punishment strong enough for those people on this earth for what they did to that child. May that poor baby find peace in God's arms.

I just want to bring to mommy's and daddy's attention that a hidden camera is not going to protect their child if an unscrupulous person is left in charge. If you have doubts, don't leave the house!

PICTURES are WORTH...WELL YOU KNOW

For those of you who read my blog entry and asked how the trip to the zoo went in spite of the troubles jamming the stroller in the car and dealing with the clicking and clacking along with the complaints of the kids in regard to the stroller I thank you for your sympathy and questions.

One sweet sewing mom from the great State of Texas asked whether or not the trip to the zoo was enjoyed in spite of the stroller fiasco and others wanted to know if I had to wag the middle sister on my hip all day.

Well, a picture is worth a thousand words as they say and here we are with my middle one on my hip with the stroller behind the photographer. One baby on the hoof, one on the hip and another in a baby carrier.